One time years ago I really hurt the feelings of a super nice guy who asked, “Are you OK?” because in response I whirled around and snapped, “Yes!
Her response was “Don’t lie to me!” Fortunately this didn’t go on for very long.On the one hand it’s nice to know that there are people who care.
“Are you OK?” is what you’d say to someone who’s stumbling, weaving, or having a seizure, not to a deep-in-thought coworker who’s intently staring at her screen.
I always say pleasantly, “Yes! Did she ask that because I didn’t make any small talk? The problem isn’t the wording, it’s the assumption that something is “wrong” simply because someone isn’t making it VERY clear that they are blissfully happy. Are YOU OK?”I guess “Are you OK?” is the current way to ask, “Why didn’t you respond the way I want?” because I see it all the time now, even on TV. What right did she have to even be asking that question of someone she doesn’t even know. I’m just waiting for you to do your job and hand me my order! I wouldn’t do that with you, and I humbly ask that you please respect my space and my boundaries.
I even once had some salesperson at a mall approach me by asking “Why are you so sad?” “I’m not sad.” “You look sad.” Then before too long they jumped into their sales spiel.
There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it.Instead of answering the question you're asked, you can turn it around on the other person. I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass.
I figured that if what I thought was a relatively expressionless look, actually looked like I was frowning, to others…then, as strange as it felt at first, if I wore that “half-smile” all the time, maybe I would look “normal” to other people, and maybe it would stop these comments. You seem preoccupied…” This sounds much more caring, don’t you agree?People have been asking if someone is okay as a tactic to distract people from their behavior for at least a month or two here to imply that there is something wrong with someone who disapproves of their behavior when they are stealing, talking distastefully or doing something else they know they shouldnt be doing. Sure, I’d agree that no one has the right to micromanage another person’s character/personality or way of being, but at what point did the one accused of micromanaging say that was what they were doing?
Of course not all people are ‘educated’ in the differences between I and E – needs, wants, processing of things of each.Try not to think it is something wrong with your face, your expression or your behavior.
Nobody around me understands it completely, but my wife has been great about trying.I almost feel like I wrote this post myself as my response is frequently the, “Yes, are YOU okay?” It feels so invasive and offensive to ask if someone is okay when nothing is wrong because it’s like someone is saying, “You look really messed up, tell me all about it” when nothing at all is wrong.While I was in high school I developed quite the reputation for being a snappy little so-and-so and the infamous ‘Are you okay?’ – or inquries of that nature – were often the catalyst for me lashing out and that asker. This is just a testimony to why it’s so infuriating.I so understand the exasperation attached to that question – especially since it’s usually fired at me by acquaintances who don’t know me that well, which means that it’s only really polite to respond in the affirmative. As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assertI’ve often found that I seem to send false signals about my current temperament.
Why would she, a stranger, ask if I was okay?
I don’t lie about my feelings, and while I don’t appreciate strangers asking my innermost thoughts on a whim like they have access to them, I make sure to give them full bore since they asked.They almost always retreat when faced with such honesty.It’s not “common courtesy” to me (although I don’t speak for all introverts), common courtesy would be leaving me alone if I seem busy, preoccupied, or thinking. Then you can segue into how hot he looks and how you can't wait for him to take you out on a date.This is a cute phrase that doesn't really answer the question at all. There were about six workers chit chatting behind the welcoming station and I tentatively greeted them because I didn’t want to intrude too much on their conversation. Do I wish I was them?
Introverts may not talk, smile and socialize much, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.
I too try and respond in more positive ways these days!
In most cases, I think you can control how friendly or hostile the whole situation is by your response, and a bright “Yes! I am an E too and I admit I have asked that horrible question in past (not to strangers but intro-bf and friends), of course we all look from our own perspective (as do introverts) and for us it is a nice gesture to ask someone if they’re ok because we like to help, be needed, acknowledged and if someone asks us that we feel merry that someone takes interest in us and shows concern – even when nothing is wrong per se.I can imagine that as introverts are opposites of us it is not as nice for them as for us.
No one will be able to ask you to elaborate about your feelings, because you already made it clear that you're not quite sure how you're feeling.This is a great way to win your crush's affection. I was just minding my own business thinking about pizza and now I need to confort/console someone else when nothing’s wrông. – you see the transfer of stress here ??? !” One of the girls then asked me what he had done.
When I’m reading, on my phone, listening to music, or working on a puzzle, do not attempt a conversation with me. When they all finally turned to look at me, I told one of them my name so I could pay for my order.
The only conclusion I drew was that my facial expression was not pleasing to others – I didn’t practice an acceptable ‘look’ but maybe I would have been more successful in life if I had!I Googled the phrase, “Are you okay introvert” because it has to be the most infuriating question.
It was OK to not pick one …
Do remember that before the realization of sides, as humans we did just fine. We are people too. Or maybe I’m just biased here.)
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