They told me at the blood bank this might happen. We at GNP Branded Gear hope that everyone enjoys the first weekend of fall! Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. “What’s this for?” I asked.
—Albert Sloan Teaching is not for sensitive souls. “It’s to turn red lights green,” he replied. “My dog told me.” Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and hoisted him onto the bed.
In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an... “I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.” —Jean Kerr, author “I make mistakes; I’ll be the second to admit it.” —Jean Kerr, author I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. Scene: A sports store. —Kenneth Gomez What's a quiet Hawaiian laugh? I don’t even remember how to curse.” “You keep pulling on that rope, and it’ll come back to you.” —Submitted by Rose Mattix A priest buys a lawn mower at a yard sale. jesus: what do people call the day i was crucified me: good friday. “Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that,” the gunner said. else if (todayNow < Friday17) we call … Good Fry-day!
//Get 1 day in milliseconds
The band was Hall & Oates, and this gag perfectly sums up my father’s sense of humor. They got six months each. —Stephanie Chapman When I was a proofreader, I shared with my coworkers this example to illustrate how writing can skew based on gender: A professor wrote on the blackboard, “Woman without her man is nothing.” The students were then instructed to insert the proper punctuation. {
These hilarious jokes will turn your frown upside down before you know it.
One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. “Oh!” I shouted. I miss him tremendously. Headline from the Seattle PostIntelligencer: “Mom Warns Son to ‘Watch Out for Idiots,’ Rear‑Ends His Motorcycle.” Headline from the Seattle PostIntelligencer: “Mom Warns Son to ‘Watch Out for Idiots,’ Rear‑Ends His Motorcycle.” Me: What’s the Wi-Fi password? It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. Ahead, we've rounded up the funniest silly jokes everyone will love. 7. Me: We have running shorts. At the very least, you'll crack a great big smile! On Dad’s first day, the friend took... My Dad's favorite joke is indelible: Joe is a new man on a construction crew. “You know, I always used to wish I could whistle,” he said. { Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for... My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or meet for any of the tests. —Submitted by Alex Del Bene Could a ... ... librarian be called a bookkeeper? The band was Hall & Oates, and this... My mother was hard of hearing and wore a hearing aid that she removed at bedtime.
#GNP #FridayjokesWhat did the paperclip say to the magnet? document.write(Math.ceil((Friday19.getTime()-todayNow.getTime())/(one_day)) + " days until Good Friday 19th April 2019") How fast were you planning on going?
!” When my 12-year-old brother heard Dad tell the joke for the hundredth time, all of sudden, he started laughing. #GNP #FridayjokesWhy did the pilgrim's pants always fall down? What is red and smells like blue paint? “Is this the salon near the fire station?”... On the way to meet my husband at a restaurant, I realized that I didn’t have my phone and immediately panicked. I went to Bank of America to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. Online Hippo @InternetHippo. —Bob McCord Our boatswain’s mate was a smoker who would toss his matches overboard. One day, at an event honoring veterans, a young man asked where they had been stationed. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. T., via e-mail My father liked to say, “I’m bald because a good man always comes out on top.” Dad loved to make people laugh.
I make my own lunch.” Whether or not anyone else laughed, Dad certainly did.
A: Dress her up as an altar boy. —Mria Murillo Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? “We don’t have an ad in the paper today,” I told her. Fred: How bad is it?
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